I have not been happy with how I have acted these past few weeks. I have had little faith and little trust. I am still learning a lot and sometimes I wonder if I have grown or I have been too immature and have resisted the growth that God is trying to give me. I have a had a lot of amazing experiences on my mission but I think I have taken it for granted most of the time that I have been here and that is going to stop now. I want to come home a changed person, spiritually strong, and more mature. But hey thats one of the reasons why I am here and I do believe that I have made at least some progress. Sometimes you get so used to a way of life that you kinda forget to stop and really think of what you are doing and really stop to appreciate it. I think these last weeks I have forgotten my purpose as a missionary, I have forgotten that I have been called of God and a prophet. I have forgotten that I am here to help people gain eternal life but I have been to worried on myself and the day to day pleasure. But I am hoping and praying that I train a new missionary next transfer. I think that will kind of force me to be more in tune with the spirit and to work hard. I feel like I have gotten to carried away but I want to come back.
This past week I have been really trying my best to turn to God and the scriptures for answers and not just other people. I have been reading in Mosiah and I have found out that I love Mosiah! Its my favorite. There is SOOO much info in it and I am only in the 7th chapter right now. But what I want to talk about and focus on is Mosiah chapter 4. So I love in verse 12 where it talks about the promised blessings it says there that "if we do this we will always rejoice, be filled with the love God, and always retain a remission of our sins, and always grow in the knowledge of God and things that are true" So I really liked this verse and wanted to know what I had to do to obtain those blessings. So to find the answer I looked in the chapter and read in verse 6 that if we 1) Trust in the Lord 2) Be diligent in keeping His commandments 3) continue in faith to the end and lastly in verse 7 4) focus on the Atonement. So I really liked this. I feel like I am doing okay with number 2 but the other ones I think I have a lot lacking. I really need to learn to trust in the lord more and be more faithful and really focus on the power of the atonement. On a mission I have experienced a lot of temptations one thing that I have really learned is that Satan is real. He really wants to destroy you, he will do anything he can to hamper your progress. But if we really trust in the lord, focus on the atonement and not worry so much about ourselves Satans temptations will lose power over us. I feel a lot of regret because I think I could of changed more peoples lives instead of worrying about myself so much. One thing that I am really coming to learn is that a mission is not about you at all, its all about the people that are around you. Hopefully I will fully come to realize that and do it soon, I have failed for a lot of my mission but I still have time to make up for it. I know that I will learn what I need to learn and I know that God will help me get to where I need to be.
This past week was pretty good, Elder Bellera and I worked really hard and got some good new investigators and got to know our "open area" a lot better. The highlight of the week is that our investigator Christian came to church yesterday! Christians whole family are members all his siblings and even his wife but he hasnt been baptized yet but I think the time is here for him to be baptized. We taught him the word of wisdom yesterday because that is the biggest thing that is keeping him from being baptized is his smoking problem. But we had a good lesson on how our bodies are a temple (1 cor. 3: 16) and that we must treat them like the amazing creation that they are. We showed him a beautiful picture of the Manila temple and we said "What do you notice about this temple, and he said "malinis at maganda" (clean and beautiful) We said that is right! And that is exactly what our bodies need to be like, clean and beautiful. We gave him a plan and we know he will be done smoking byand he will be ready to wait four weeks before his baptism on to be baptized:)
This area is a tough area and I am really trying to figure out what to do to be most successful but then again I think I am relying too much on myself and not on God. So I need to start relying on Him more to figure out how we can help the most people while I am here. This next week I will try my best to rely on God and not think too much about myself and see how it goes and fill you all in next week.
The pictures that I sent are some awesome sunsets, pics with me and my pals, and an audi R8 that I found in my area:)
Love you all!